(15) The spirits of DOUBT

Spiritual warfare (15) - DOUBT (MY TESTIMONY) - 21 November 2017

EVIL AND SUFFERING:

As long as we are on this earth, the warfare for our souls will continue. There will always be EVIL AND SUFFERING and we NEED FAITH to be able to STAND against the evil and evilness and GO THROUGH the SUFFERING in FAITH.

Job stood the test OF FAITH in and through his suffering - HE DID NOT SINNED (Job. 1:22 "IN ALL THIS JOB SINNED NOT NOR CHARGED GOD foolishly"). On the other hand his wife was acting in UNBELIEF telling Job to curse GOD and die.

DOUBT DEFINES:

Hesitation - uncertainty - suspicion - skepticism - mistrust - reservation - unease - fear - anxiety - uneasiness - worry - nervousness - dread - angst - suspect - distrust - question - query - have reservations - be suspicious of - reluctance - indecision - wavering - pause - delay.

DOUBT AND FEAR GOES HAND IN HAND: It WANTS to DESTROY OUR FAITH:

DOUBT is the (evil) demon-darts being FIRED at us - in an attempt to DESTROY our FAITH. It is EVILNESS STANDING UP AGAINST our FAITH. DOUBT is NOT the ABSENCE of FAITH - it is the QUESTIONING of our FAITH. When DOUBT HITS - FEAR COMES IN AS WELL.

UNBELIEF (a conditions) versus DOUBT (a struggle):

UNBELIEF is a SPIRITUAL BLINDNESS and a RESISTANCE to YAHWEH G-D.

DOUBT is a STRUGGLE faced by CHRISTIANS (BELIEVERS) whilst UNBELIEF is a CONDITION of the UNBELIEVER.

PAUL'S UNBELIEF AND IGNORANCE: The apostle Paul says in Acts 22:3-5 that he was a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia but TRAINED in Jerusalem. As a Pharisee he was highly educated according to the strictest care in the LAW of the fathers, even a zealot for God (a zealous [passionate, fervent, fanatical - obsessive - eager - intense] person to an extreme degree - a fanatic - a radical political and religious person thinking that what he was doing was all for God's glory).

Paul said that he HARASSED - TROUBLED AND MOLESTED (PHYSICALLY ABUSED) AND PERSECUTED the BELIEVERS in MESSIAH TO THE DEATH, putting in CHAINS AND COMMITTING TO PRISON BOTH MEN AND WOMEN.

In Paul's Damascus experience, on his way to PERSECUTE and bring the BELIEVERS in CHAINS to Jerusalem - HE MET YAHSHUA in a DIVINE way. Paul moved from UNBELIEF to FAITH. In 1 Tim. 1:13 Paul said THAT his former ACTIONS were done in IGNORANCE and UNBELIEF. DEEPLY RESISTANT to the TRUTH (UNBELIEF) he and COULD NOT UNDERSTAND the TRUTH.

THE STRUGGLE OF MAN:

We as human beings will always experience worries, doubts, stress etc. but as BELIEVERS WE KNOW WHO OUR GOD is and that ALL THINGS will WORK OUT according to HIS PLAN FOR OUR LIVES while we BELIEF AND TRUST IN HIM.

Scripture tells us to REJOICE in EVERYTHING - it does NOT MEAN that we ENJOYS EVERTHINGS. As believers in Messiah, our path is not always easy - the enemy targets us with his vile plans and he uses people to fulfill his plans.

But with EVERY ATTACK from the EVIL ONE - whether it is DOUBT or FEAR or SICKNESS etc ... we are IN TRAINING. Furthermore, YAHWEH GOD ALLOWS it to happen to us - he permits it - for we NEED to DEVELOP AND GROW IN OUR FAITH - we NEED to KNOW HOW to FIGHT and HOW to BE CONQUERORS in the HIS NAME.

MY SUFFERING - MY TESTIMONY:

When I went through severe trials starting September 2016 - I went to Abba SEEKING HIS FACE in PRAYER and FASTING and He said to me "You KNOW that I can INTERVINE IN ANY SITUATION - but I AM NOT GOING TO - FOR if I DO INTERVINE you HAVE NOT LEARNED ANYTHING!"

He also said to me that I have to LOOK AT JOB. Previously in February 2016 Abba gave me Scripture - Zech. 13:9 "And I will BRING you through the FIRE, and I WILL REFINE YOU as SILVER is REFINED and I WILL TEST you as GOLD is TESTED. You will CALL ON MY NAME, and I WILL HEAR and ANSWER you. I WILL SAY YOU ARE MINE and you will say, ELOHIM YAHWEH IS MY GOD."

Abba was preparing me for what was to come - the worst winter of physical and spiritual SUFFERING in my entire life - 11th June 2017 - 26th of September 2017.

For three and a half months I was bombarded with unexplained infirmities and ailments that started with DIZZINESS and NAUSIA and a total unexplained feeling of ill-health in my body.

I experienced LOSS OF APPETITE - FEELING "FULL" the WHOLE TIME triggering excessive LOSS IN WEIGHT. When I ate something I experienced HEARTBURN. I was tormented with severe INSOMNIA for weeks on end and with INSOMNIA in full swing - the enemy made his next move in sowing DOUBT INTO MY MIND - telling me my MINISTRY WAS FALSE.

When accepting DOUBT - a DOOR IS OPENED:

The moment when I TOOK DOUBT and started to think about it - I opened a door for the enemy to come in and do his evil work. I was bombarded with LIES.

YAHSHUA told me to sit with Him in Holy Communion:

I was seeking answers in prayer for what was happening to me - On a Sabbath day (Saturday) - my husband and I are taking Holy Communion every Friday night when the Sabbath starts at sundown - YAHSHUA told me to sit with Him in Holy Communion. I immediately obeyed, and I was eating and drinking of HIM in HOLY COMMUNION IN HIS PRESENCE - making myself full of HIM - then when I (we) were finished YAHSHUA TOLD ME HE LOVES ME. I told Him that I LOVE HIM TOO. I did not realize that He would give me over to be tested for MY GOOD and HIS GLORY.

The TORMENT OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION (INSOMNIA)

With INSOMNIA lasting weeks on end, I was so sleep deprived that I could not think straight anymore. The moment I dozed off, I would be WOKEN - my HEART POUNDING with the FEELING of FALLING INTO A BOTTOMLESS PIT.

TORTURE CHAMBER:

One morning while still in bed (our bedroom had become a torture chamber) - realizing that there was going on more than the eye could see, I heard myself (in my mind) say: "Who are you and what do you want?" A voice answer immediately telling me that he was Abaddon!

With my heart pounding I heard him saying that I was WITH him in the BOTTOMLESS PIT and that I can pray all I like - Father will not hear me anymore for Abba has given me over to him because I am false and my Ministry is false and he is going to EXPOSE me for the &^%$$ that I am. He told me that he is also going to take me and my entire family out and that it is all because of me. I immediately stood up grabbing my Bible and turned to Revelations 9.

The BOTTOMLESS PIT and its KING:

:1 "Then the fifth angel blew [his] trumpet, and I saw a star that had FALLEN FROM the SKY to the EARTH; and to the ANGEL WAS GIVEN the KEY of the SHAFT of the ABYSS (the bottomless pit).

:2 He opened the long shaft of the Abyss (the bottomless pit) and smoke like the smoke of a huge furnace puffed out of the long shaft, so that the sun and the atmosphere were darkened by the smoke from the long shaft.

:3 Then out of the smoke LOCUSTS CAME FORTH ON THE EAARTH, and such POWER WAS GRANTED THEM as the power the earth's SCORPIONSS have.

:4 They were TOLD NOT TO INJURE the HERBAGE of the EARTH NOR ANY GREEN THING NOR ANY TREE, but ONLY [TO ATTACK] SUCH HUMAN BEINGS AS DO NOT HAVE THE SEAL [MARK] OF GOD ON THEIR FORHEADS.

:5 They were NOT PERMITTED TO KILL THEM, but TO TORMENT (DISTRESS, VEX) them for FIVE MONTHS; and the PAPIN CAUSED THEM WAS LIKE THE TORTURE OF A SCORPION WHEN IT STINGS A PERSON.

:6 And in those days, people will SEEK DEATH and WILL NOT FIND IT, and they WILL YEARN TO DIE, BUT DEATH EVADES AND FLESS FROM THEM.

:7 The LOCUSTS RESEMBLED HORSES EQUIPPED FOR BATTLE. On their HEAD WAS SOMETHING LIKE GOLDEN CROWNS. Their FACES RESEMBLED the FACES OF PEOPLE.

:8 They HAD HAIR LIKE THE HAIR OF WOMEN, and their TEETH WERE LIKE LION'S TEETH.

:9 Their BREASTPLATES (SCALES) RESEMBLED BREASTPLATES MADE OF IRON, and the [WHIRRING] NOICE MADE BY THEIR WINGS WAS LIKE THE ROAR OF A VAST NUMBER OF HORSE-DRAWN CHARIOTS GOINT AT FULL SPEED INTO BATTLE.

:10 They have TAILS LIKE SCORPIONS, and they HAVE STINGS, and IN THEIR TAILS LIES THEIR ABILITY TO HURT MEN FOR [the] FIVE MONTHS.

:11 OVER THEM as KING THEY HAVE THE ANGEL OF THE ABYSS (OF THE BOTTOMLESS PIT). In HEBREW his NAME IS ABADDON (DESTRUCTION- the ANGEL OF DEATH), but in GREEK HE IS CALLED AOLLYON (DESTROYER).

When I read this Scripture I was in distress, I fell on my face before Abba, covering my eyes - crying out to Him for help and for forgiving me for my false ministry - repenting of things I thought I must repent again - reminding Him that Yahshua Himself said in Mark 3:28 that ALL SINS WILL BE FORGIVEN the children of MAN except the sin against the Holy Spirit. After about an hour, I heard a voice telling me in a harsh way "Your sins are forgiven, go sin no more!".

CONFUSION SETS IN:

I could not come to grip with this, it was totally different from the way Yahshua usually speaks to me. NOW I WAS TOTALLY CONFUSED - my heart was broken - my LIGHT HAS DIMMED and would in time totally goes out.

The enemy FOCUSED ON TORMENTING ME:

At this stage I had been already taken to hospital twice. The first time they discharged me from emergency without admitting me into the hospital itself. They did all tests and could not find anything wrong except that my thyroid seemed to be overactive. My file indicated that I was ANOREXIC.

The second time I was admitted because of my deterioration, they admitted me into a hospital bed after all bodily function - organs etc. were tested in the emergency section - where they still could not find anything wrong. In the hospital itself they did a MIR and I was discharged the next day.

The ENEMY MOVED IN:

For weeks now I was deteriorating daily. In the midst of winter my body was ICE-COLD. My FEET was so terribly cold that I HAD TO WARM it UP WITH HOT WATER just to be COLD AGAIN after a little while. In bed with three or four blankets/duvets over me I still could not get warm enough, my entire body to feel cold to the touch.

EXCESSIVE SWEATING:

Although I was cold the whole time, I started to sweat at night - lying in poodles of water - having to get up and dress in clean pajamas again and again. Every little food I could consume was sweated out at night! I was still losing weight.

I FELT CURSED:

My body and everything I touch seemed to be cursed. I had constant PAIN IN MY BODY - MUSCLE PAIN - PAINFUL AND BLEEDING HEMMORHOIDS - THYROID PROBLEMS - EXCESSIVE HAIR-LOSS and suffered severe DEHYDRATION because of the heavy sweating at night. I was so underweight that to lay down was painful - to sit was painful - I cried out to Yahshua only to find that swearwords - words that are not even in my vocabulary - would fill my mind.

Everything IN OUR HOUSE IS CURSED:

My laptop:

My email addresses were flooded with SPAM. I have three email addresses each to receive between 100 and 200 spam emails per day.

Our Microwave:

The food in the microwave would keep on sizzling while the door is open - the food to be overcooked.

Parrots:

Kakariki

Our parrots - especially the one small parrot started to scratch all the food out of their food container the moment I fill it up and keeps on doing it so the house is a mess the whole time. When out of their cage, he would flew to me and bite me.

Gallah:

Our pink and grey parrot became 'sick' his stools to be bloodied. His feet to have 'growths' on it letting him suffer on his perch on one foot then the other. When we decided to take him to the vet, ALL of the GROWTHS on his feet DISSAPEARED BEFORE MY EYES, and the vet could find nothing wrong with him.

All kinds of strange things happened in and around our house:

Furniture and blinds inside and out would move or swing -

An ICE COLD BREEZE would follow me -

Our bedroom was ICE COLD -

Our garden was as if it was turbo boosted in growth.

Our grass was deteriorating -

Our vine, lemon tree and fig tree became infected with diseases.

TIME CURSES:

The honey eaters became a nuisance - swarmed in at night and around our house making their bird noises every night a few times almost as if they were uttering curses around 9 o'clock (at night) 1 o'clock and 3 o'clock (early morning).

I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YAHSHUA:

The very thought and the experience to be WITHOUT YAHWEH - is UNTOLERABLE - it felt as if I was already in hell. Nothing mattered anymore and life became a burden to me.

I WAS STILL DETERIORATING:

For the third time I was admitted to hospital on the 15th of September 2017. This time it was catastrophic from the start. Before I was admitted I could hear the voice in the spiritual realm (my spiritual senses were flung open) proclaiming that they "NEED MORE BLOOD".

When I was admitted into the emergency section: my blood was drawn for tests, but in a harsh and cruel way - they pierced my vine and ripped it open so that my blood was spilled all over. They put the Intravenous access into my ripped vein with blood coming out the whole time and plastered it in a very painful way.

I KNOW now, that when this happened, Abba must have said to the enemy "THIS IS NOW ENOUGH" for I passed out, my 'self' was taken out of the way for our KING to STRENGHTEN me and MINISTER to me and when I came too, my body was feeling better, I could eat again - my appetite was back!

We should have gone home but instead the enemy was trying one last time - I was admitted into the "CLINICAL" ward - a satanic nest - in a room with a patient with DEMENTIA telling me that this was my "PERMANENT ROOM".

There in hospital Father opened up my eyes so that I could RECOGNIZE the ENEMY for what HE WAS - also to RECOGNIZE HIS AGENTS - both SPIRITUAL AND HUMAN - FATHER SUSTAINED ME throughout the process they tried to wear me down, to take me out, and when I was discharged the next day, my HEALING had ALREADY STARTED.

YAHSHUA TAUGHT ME the POWER OF HIS NAME - the POWER OF HIS BLOOD - that ALL AUTHORITY AND POWER HAS BEEN GIVEN to US to DEFEAT the ENEMY.

He TAUGHT ME TO PRAY - to WARFARE - to RECOGNIZE the OPENED DOORS IN OUR LIVES and to CLOSE IT AGAIN - SEALING IT WITH THE BLOOD of the LAMB.

HE TAUGHT ME to CLOTHE MYSELF DAILY WITH THE ARMOR - WHO IS YAHSHUA -

TO STAY IN HIS WORD - to STAY IN TRUTH - not TRADITIONAL TRUTH or RELIGION'S TRUTH - no - the TRUTH OF and IN HIS WORD.

He TAUGHT ME to RECOGNIZE the HUMAN FACTOR USED by the ENEMY - to KILL STEAL AND DESTROY. HE TAUGHT me to FIGHT the GOOD FIGHT of FAITH.

HE TAUGHT ME to RECOGNIZE the SICKENESSES - AILMENTS - INFIRMITIES that COMES FROM SPIRITUAL OPPRESSION - STRONGHOLDS of the enemy in our LIVES. HOW TO ADMIT IT AND REPENT OF IT and to BE SET FREE.

ABBA BLESSED ME with WORD HE GAVE ME on the 9th of August 2016 - reaffirming it again on the 6th of October 2017:

"COME BACK CELIA DEAREST ONE AND INTO MY PERFECT WILL AND FINISH the TASK I HAVE ASSIGNED you. COME CLOSE TO ME and I WILL MINISTER TO YOU AND REVIVE YOUR SPIRIT. I BRING YOU OUT of the DEATH AND DARKNESS where you were - INTO LIVING REALITY again - out of the TRADITIONS of the PAST INTO FRESH REVELATIONS OF MYSELF IN THIS PRESENT HOUR."

ABOUT MY MINISTRY:

ABBA ALSO BLESSED me with 1 Tim. 4:14 "Do NOT NEGLECT the GIFT WHICH IS IN YOU (that special ENDOWMENT) which was DIRECTLY IMPARTED TO YOU [by the HOLY SPIRIT] ... :15 PRACTICE AND CULTIVATE AND MEDITATE UPON THESE DUTIES, THROW YOURSELF WHOLLY INTO THEM [AS YOUR MINISTRY] ... :16 LOOK WELL to YOURSELF AND TO YOUR TEACHING. PERSEVERE in THESE THINGS [HOLD TO THEM] ..."

He RE-AFFIRMED a MESSAGE He gave me September 2008 "YOUR LIFE IS IN MY HAND, CELIA - I AM YOUR ADVOCATE, YOUR HEALER, YOUR PRINCE OF PEACE. TRUST ME WITH YOUR LIFE - LOVE ME WHOLEHEARTEDLY - FOR I LOVED YOU FIRST!. DON'T LOOSE FAITH and DON'T EVER GIVE UP!"

Luke 9:1 "Then YAHSHUA called TOGETHER the 12 apostles and GAVE THEM POWER AND AUTHORITY OVER ALL DEMONS and TO CURE DISEASES."

I can say with EVERYTHING IN ME that YAH IS MY STRENGTH - MY ROCK - MY LIGHT and the WAY. HE IS the COMING KING - HE IS MY and YOUR BRIDEGROOM - OUR KING.

I pray that you will all be infused and drenched with the HOLY SPIRIT of our awesome wonderful YAH - WHO IS HIS POWERFUL WORKING - IN US. May HE BLESS YOUR SPIRITS.